I Forgot How Lipstick Works…
My struggle with post-pandemic reentry
Remember when lockdowns and stay-at-home orders and curbside pickups were a new thing? Me either. To be honest, we were locked down for so long that now it feels strange to be going out for anything other than a socially distant walk. I’ve settled in nicely to isolation life, and I’m kinda digging it now.
I mean — I can work at home and only have to get half dressed for meetings? I’m here for that. I apply a background filter to my screen camera because no one needs to know I am not only working from home, but also from my bed. I don’t have to tidy up when people come over, because no one comes over. I admit it — I got lazy. Except now there are places to go and people to see and things to do.
This requires a return to grooming.
Thank the Good Lord that my daughter is a hairstylist and kept my haircut current. I have forgotten how to style it, however. At least the endless months of no blow drying has left my hair in it’s best condition ever, and it has grown long enough to subdue into a ponytail suitable for zoom. But I have a thing to go to tonight, IRL (in real life), and now I have to think hard to remember how to do my hair. Do I need hair product? Do I use a curling iron or a flat iron? Where did I put the hot rollers? How do I unclog my hairspray pump? These are things I never used to think about. Now, it’s an effort.
I can put together a reasonably acceptable screen look from the chest up, but tonight I have to care about the bottom half. Do I wear pants? Maybe a skirt? EWW — no — not a skirt. Can I get away with flip-flops? My feet categorically reject anything other than slippers, or anything slipper-adjacent — this could be a problem. Plus, it’s summer, so my toes will be visible. Thank goodness I got that pedicure a couple weeks ago. A little foot file action wouldn’t go amiss, however.
The function I am attending includes a dinner, which is allowed now that restrictions have lifted in my area. I will even be able to take off my mask, since I am double vaxxed, but this creates it’s own anxiety, beyond preventing illness.
The mask, while sometimes uncomfortable and difficult to breathe through, definitely helps stop the spread of COVID. but it also offers protection of a different kind. It hides all manner of unsightliness. Didn’t whiten my teeth? I’m wearing a mask so it doesn’t matter. Did a blemish pop up overnight? Who cares — the mask covers it. Find a few pesky chin hairs? Let ’em grow — the mask covers all!
I will be maskless tonight, so I have to properly exfoliate and moisturize. I have to find my tweezer, and then I have to dig out my makeup bag. This is already feeling stressful. I used to be able to swipe a bit of color on my lips, smoosh them together, and I was good to go. What was once an effortless gesture, now requires good lighting and precise hand-eye coordination.
Recently I was singing on the worship team at my church, and I put on my lipstick without looking at a mirror. I checked it with a friend — “Does it look ok?” “Um, not really,” she replied.
That’s when I realized I had forgotten how lipstick works.
This particular lipstick performs best within well-defined boundaries. (Kind of like me — no wonder it’s my favorite.) Ideally I would have remembered to use my primer and liner, so the color stays where it belongs. But I didn’t, and the color went wandering, and repairs were required before I stepped out on the platform.
Tonight, there will be no physical barrier between my smile and the world. Please God, may my face not scare people. Wish me luck.
